Since there's no pics in this post, I realize at least half of you will check out at this point. No offense taken. =O) More pics will be coming ASAP, I promise!
(Speaking of "rolling," our funniest moment came when Ellie was going potty and didn't close the door like I asked her. I realized Elijah had disappeared, and I came in to the bathroom to find Ellie and Elijah standing at the toilet. He had poop in his hand...and mouth. Couldn't even get him to let go of the poop in his hand - apparently, he really liked it).
The two surprises we've had have been the tantrums from Ellie and how we've handled them. Sure, kids are kids. They're going to do things they shouldn't and you're going to have to discipline them. We have NO problem with that. They're going to misbehave. But Ellie's tantrums have escalated to screaming, slapping, biting, pinching, and spitting. She won't stay in the time out chair or in bed, and half the time she'll start laughing the more stern you get. We literally have to hold her hands and feet together and bear hug her to keep her from hurting us or herself. We've tried to the whole "Super Nanny" approach of just quietly walking her back to the chair for as many times and as long as it takes (hours), but frankly it's proven to be rather ineffective.
Keep in mind, she recently came from another country and speaks a different language. We don't know what she's experienced, how (or if) she's been disciplined, and we can't ask her what she's feeling or explain the reasoning behind our actions. We can't necessarily use the same parenting tactics you would use on biological children.
What's worse is that Erin and I have had a hard time controlling ourselves during the tantrums. We've been quite surprised to find out how quickly we've lost patience, spoken more loudly and harshly than we want to, or have been more forceful physically than we want to. So we're definitely a work in progress. We're making mistakes, but we're learning from them! A month ago, we didn't have kids - now we have 2 partially grown children! We're trying to learn...and to breathe and think clearly. We're trying to stay calm and in control, and to relax about the things that don't really matter.
Other than that one issue, all is perfect. Our kids are hilarious, adorable, smart, and weird...which is fitting considering they're now Smiths. We love them SO MUCH. It's hard to imagine us not having them in our lives or getting to see them every day. They're amazing! Aside from their skin color, you'd have no idea that these kids weren't biological. It's unbelievable how many traits of ours they seem to have and how PERFECTLY they fit us. It's almost as if God knew...
8 comments
Comment by dr smith on May 3, 2011 at 10:37 AM
Can't lie...I'm missing your quirky kids as well as your quirky selves. I remember several times when I felt out of control and out of my depth as a dad...yet you guys managed to live through my mis-management as a parent, so take heart.
It's gonna be really weird not having you guys at best8days...we must have some skype dates.
Love you all,
dad<><
Comment by Eponine on May 3, 2011 at 11:42 AM
Your lives are such a testament to God's timing. Thank you so much for sharing!
Comment by Kelly on May 3, 2011 at 1:37 PM
So glad to hear things are going well! You guys are great parents! Also, just so you know you're not alone... our 4 year old is having major tantrum issues as well and we are as baffled as you as to how best to deal with them. If you find any especially effective strategies, feel free to pass them along! :)
We miss all four of you!
Kelly and Mark
Comment by Jill on May 3, 2011 at 3:44 PM
Yep...God did know. Love that about Him... :) Jill Neyhart
Comment by Heather Bragg on May 3, 2011 at 4:39 PM
You're doing great! It's soooo normal to feel your patience wearing thin. There are so many time I have had to put Griff in his crib during a tantrum, walk away and count to 10 (sometimes 50 or more - haha).
Good luck and prayers headed your way.
Comment by Kimberly on May 3, 2011 at 4:44 PM
Love to hear you're being real - and it sounds like you have plenty of support.
Enjoy watching each and every moment as you see them change and grow and mature. There will be a time when tantrums are only once ever 7-8 days and you'll be able to look back and see how far you've come.
Comment by Andy Beltz on May 3, 2011 at 7:49 PM
Amanda and I had the same discussion today. You all are not alone. We are reading a good book called 1-2-3 Magic for Christian Parents. Hang in there.
Comment by Jackie on May 4, 2011 at 2:48 PM
hi! i know i'm a complete stranger to you, but i've been following your blog for awhile. my husband & i adopted our now 3 yr old son from ethiopia about 1.5 yrs ago through AWAA. we were about to sign up for rwanda(for our 2nd adoption) right before they closed. anyway, i wanted to recommend the book "the connected child" by karyn purvis. maybe you've already read or been recommended this book, but i really like it! i read it awhile ago, but am reading it again now! it has really great advice! there's a website also www.empoweredtoconnect.org again, sorry if you have all this info, but i thought i'd pass it along! so glad to see your kids home with you!
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